Life (& I Love Myself Today)…Not Like Yesterday…
Listen, if I can bring some Bif Naked lyrics into my newsletter, you bet your ass I’m gonna do it.
Because when has anything ever felt so relatable as this?
I love myself today
not like yesterday
I’m cool
I’m strong
I’m gonna be ok
Uh huh
(Listen to it here if you want! - and since we're at it, the BEST Bif song (a special bonus for the Buffy stans 😘)
ANYWAYS.
Lately, I’ve been diving deep into self-love.
I’ve been devouring books like Letting Go and The 9 Hard Truths About Love, going to therapy, and I've taken up a journaling practice. Not to mention, I’ve started to take my own creativity seriously (ha!) again. I joined a creative writing/living program (aptly called Creative Living), and I’m looking at taking piano lessons or dance classes - maybe both - when I return from six weeks in Central America.
And here’s the breakthrough I’ve had that’s shifting everything:
What if the dream life isn’t about achieving anything at all, really, but about surrendering to our truest selves - and letting everything else unfold from there?
The more I lean into loving myself exactly as I am, the more I reconnect with the things that lit me up before. Before I saw every skill or interest as something that needed to be profitable. Before I let labels and expectations tell me how to show up. Before I let the noise (and fear) drown out my true desires.
And I have to ask (writing that made me feel like Carrie Bradshaw staring at the camera window, I'm really having a tv icon moment here, friends)…
What if we could build the life we’ve always dreamed of - not by forcing it, but by simply being who we are, without apology?
Breaking Free from “Should” to Feel Alive Again
Here’s the thing: It’s so easy to forget who you really are when you’re caught in a cycle of “shoulds.” I should be more successful. I should be a better partner. I should be doing more for others. But the truth is, all those “shoulds” are doing is stealing your joy.
They’re taking the energy that could be used to live and draining it into things that don’t light you up.
You can’t build a fulfilling, meaningful life by holding on too tightly to who you think you should be or what you think you need.
What if, instead of trying to become someone else - someone “better” by someone else’s standards - you simply surrendered to who you really are? What if you let go of those external expectations and allowed the pieces to fall into place effortlessly?
It’s not about giving up on your dreams; it’s about letting go of the pressure to control every step. When we let go of the weight of needing it all figured out, that’s when our dreams show up with ease. You’ll still take action, but now it’s from a place of authenticity, not striving. And the best part? It feels like you again.
The Life You’re Building Is Already Inside You
If you’re reading this and feeling like there’s something more out there for you - like maybe you have all the pieces, but something still feels off - you’re not alone. It’s so easy to get caught up in the external markers of success: the job, the house, the family.
You’ve ticked all the boxes, yet it can still feel like something’s missing.
And that’s okay.
But I want you to feel empowered with the knowledge that the missing piece isn’t out there somewhere in a goal, a job title, or a perfectly curated life.
It's already inside you, waiting to be embraced.
This isn’t about fixing anything - it’s about reconnecting with who you are when you strip away the expectations and start living from the most authentic version of yourself.
So here’s what I want you to do:
I’m going to challenge you to take a few minutes tomorrow (or tonight, so it can sink into your subconscious while you sleep) and just be curious.
Ask yourself:
What would I do with my time if there were no consequences?
Who would I be if there was no fear of judgment, no worry about money, no concerns about the future?
Suspend those beliefs that normally hold you back - around money, love, time - and just allow yourself to dream, to explore, to exist in the most liberated version of yourself.
Notice what makes your heart yearn.
Where does the truth lie?
What would it feel like to surrender and simply be who you are?
Two Things to Try:
1️⃣ Write your "no consequences" dream day: Imagine you’ve just woken up in your dream life. No worries about money, time, or what others think. What does your day look like? Who are you with? Write it out—this is a chance to reconnect with what lights you up.
2️⃣ Commit to one tiny self-love action: Choose one small act of self-love today - whether it’s taking a 10-minute walk, giving yourself permission to rest, or journaling for five minutes about your ideal life. This is about curiosity, not perfection.
The Real Transformation Happens When You Surrender to Yourself
I’m realizing that self-loathing and self-discipline can get you places - but self-trust? Self-compassion? That’s where the magic happens. When you really start to trust yourself, when you let yourself be the person you want to be, that’s when everything shifts.
So if you’re ready to stop building your life from a place of “should,” and instead start claiming the version of yourself that’s been waiting to be loved into reality… well, then letssss fucking goooo…no?
You’ve got this, friend. You're already everything you need to be <3