I was sitting in my mama’s house in Nicaragua, staring at my laptop, trying to book my next stop. El Salvador? Guatemala? A beach town? A road trip? A lake escape?

None of the options felt right.

Which made no sense.

Since when do I not want to wake up to ocean waves? Since when do I not want to road trip through a country I’ve never seen? Since when do I not want to keep going?

I sat with that question for a while. Because logically, I should have wanted to keep moving.

I planned six weeks of travel. The kind of adventure that used to light me up. The kind of trip I’ve dreamed about, planned for, and always loved. It’s something I do. It’s even who I am.

But when I let go of the “should” and got honest about what I actually needed, the answer was clear:

I didn’t need more movement, more excitement. I needed something else entirely.

The Power of a Pause

Instead of forcing myself forward, I did something different.

I paused. I got curious. (My mantra, as you know if you’ve been here for a minute.)

I asked:

✨ What am I feeling?

✨ What’s feeling sticky about these options?

✨ Where is my heart?

✨ What do I need right now?

Then, I wrote a list of wants. Not a pros-and-cons list. Just a simple list of what was calling to me.

I want to watch the sunset by the water every night.

I want to go for long walks.

I want to eat with people.

I want to stay in one place (no more packing and unpacking).

I want to dance.

I want to write.

I want to sit alone.

I want to sit in company.

I want to eat fresh veggies and find tofu.

(You can see the full, real list here if you want to)

When I looked at that list, the answer became obvious.

I couldn’t have all those things while backpacking solo through El Salvador and Guatemala. Or maybe I could…but it felt hard. And I didn't want it to feel hard.

So I thought about where I could have them…and I pivoted.

And instantly, everything felt lighter.

When Joy Requires a Detour

This experience (and a question from my client, she's the best: “But can you explain to me how you came to the decision to make a shift?”) made me realize something pretty essential that I've been forgetting to share with you:

The dream life isn’t a rigid plan. It’s not about sticking to a blueprint or a roadmap no matter what.

It’s about being present with your real needs - and adjusting when they change.

We can get so attached to an idea of what should make us happy that we forget to check in with what actually does - today, right now, this minute.

Joy isn’t about forcing yourself to follow through on a plan that no longer fits. It’s about designing your life in real time.

And sometimes, that means changing course.

Staying true to “who I've always been” wasn't going to make me happy in this instance. By checking in with who I am RIGHT NOW, I was able to make a decision that immediately brought joy, ease, and fulfillment to my life.

(Which coincidentally is another exercise in letting go, and letting the life we're meant for flow naturally from with in us…but I digress).

2 Things to Try

If you ever feel resistance where there "should" be excitement, try this:

1️⃣ Pause & Get Curious – Instead of pushing through, ask yourself: What am I feeling? What’s feeling sticky about this? What do I need right now?

2️⃣ Make a List of Wants – Drop the overthinking and go back to basics. Write “I want…” and let the truth come out.

Give yourself the space - and the grace - to be exactly who you are in this moment. And then take action from there.

Because the best life isn’t the one you plan perfectly - it’s the one you have the courage to change when your heart asks you to.